Ravi Kishan is a renowned actor and politician today. His acting in Laapataa Ladies and Maamla Legal Hai proved he was more than just a regional star. But to achieve this, he struggled for 33 years. And before that, he lived a traumatic childhood where his father Shyam Narayan Shukla would beat him up almost every day. So much so that one day his mother asked him to run away and handed him Rs 500. “He will kill you,” the actor recalled.
In a recent podcast with Raj Shamani, Ravi Kishan opened up about his terrifying childhood. “I was trying to prove to my father that I was worth loving,” shared Ravi Kishan. Recalling his relationship with his father, the actor shared, “He would often think I was nalayak (useless), and I wanted to prove that I wasn’t. He was a priest. Intelligent. He was a proud Brahmin.”
“I once asked him, why do you pray so much? At the end of the day, you are still wearing a torn piece of cloth and have a broken cycle.” This made him angry and he hit me very hard.
Ravi then shared it was an everyday affair. “He would beat me up every day.” He called it fun. He explained, “Because my dad never spoke to me or pampered me, I would feel him hitting me is the closest to loving me and communicating.”
Ravi’s dad was very possessive about his image and was dead against Ravi Kishan’s love for acting. “I used to take part in plays in the village. I played the role of Goddess Sita and often wore my mother’s saree. This gave him a fit (of anger). He went crazy. He told me, ‘Have you gone crazy, do you want to become a nachaniya (a degrading word for artistes).’ He wanted me to do farming and sell milk.”
His dad’s aggression once pushed him to leave the house. “One day my dad hit me so hard that I had to run away. That day, my mom gave me Rs 500 and said, ‘Please go, otherwise he will kill you today.’”
After leaving his house, Ravi Kishan tried his luck in Bollywood, but it wasn’t fruitful. He would often land small roles and producers always denied him money. They would threaten to cut his screen time if he demanded fees. He had to choose between money and work. After struggling for 10 years in the Hindi film industry, he entered the Bhojpuri industry, which shot him to regional fame (mostly UP and Bihar). It was only after this that his father began to respect him.
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“My dad started to respect me after I started to earn a lot of money… when I started giving him air tickets to visit me. After I gave him best of clothes, a good car, and a bungalow. One day he started crying and said, ‘Please forgive me. I always misunderstood you.’ I fell on his feet and said, ‘Please, don’t do this.’ I saw God in him.”
Even when their relationship started to take a healthy turn, Ravi still felt under confident around his father. “I just longed for his love. All I wanted was him to hug me once and not think that I am useless. It was only when he grew old, I could be clingy with him. My fear reduced because he was weak. It was a high when I put my arms across his shoulder. With age, he become my child and I became his father.”
During this time, the actor gained the courage to question his father: “Why did you hit me so much?” His dad replied, “I thought you would do something wrong.” The actor shared, “He mostly beat me fearing I might do something wrong. He would randomly smell my mouth and assume I have had alcohol. But, it never was the case. This culture didn’t exist then. But he would always assume, ‘What if you did’. Mujhe maar padti thi ki ‘nalayak hojate toh?’ He would always beat me in advance thinking I might end up doing something wrong.”
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When success followed Ravi Kishan, his dad craved his presence. “He would often cry and remember me and ask my mother to make him talk to me.”
While Ravi made peace with his dad’s “way of love”, he still wishes he wasn’t physically abusive.
“I would never teach my kids to physically abuse someone. I still think he could have communicated better than simply hitting me. But, I guess it was lack of awareness. One should never hit their children. One must talk. That’s the approach I take towards my kids.”
In the same interview, Ravi Kishan shared that he didn’t cry after his dad’s passing. “I was with him during his last days. When I realised he doesn’t have too much time left, I flew him to Banaras in private jet. He died there. I never cried. I still cannot feel it. It will take me days to get over it and I don’t know when those feelings will come out. I miss him in every breath.”
