We had no idea how good we had it in July 2020. Little did we know, for instance, that the pandemic just… wouldn’t end. Petrol was cheaper, the air was cleaner, and we were getting used to life at home. Plus, you could still count on Netflix to occasionally produce an impressive film or two. Extraction remains one of the slickest action movies of the last five years; in fact, it basically cannibalised The Old Guard, an equally good Netflix original that debuted only a few weeks later. Starring Charlize Theron alongside an overqualified supporting cast, the movie screamed for a sequel, which was quickly approved. But did you know that The Old Guard 2 was shot three years ago?
The movie had been sitting on the shelves for quite some time before being released this week, and it shows. In case you weren’t aware that The Old Guard 2 existed, don’t blame yourself; it’s not your fault. Netflix has been suspiciously quiet about it, perhaps because the finished movie resembles a work-in-progress — a film that hasn’t yet been streamlined on the edit table. It retains the hyperreal gloss of ungraded raw footage, while giving the strong impression that what we’ve been presented with is some kind of unfinished cut. Among the film’s many flaws — we’ll get to the rest momentarily — is Barry Ackroyd’s flat cinematography.
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Henry Golding and Charlize Theron in The Old Guard 2.
It’s a decidedly un-cinematic experience, which is strange, considering that Ackroyd was also involved in the relatively okay-looking first film. Known for shooting with long lenses and handheld cameras that create a deliberate distance between the audience and the action, Ackroyd’s aesthetic feels at odds with something like The Old Guard 2, a genre movie that perhaps required a more stylised telling. The film is set just six months after the events of its predecessor, which ended with the immortal warrior Andy, played by Charlize Theron, losing her superpowers after being betrayed by her friend Booker, played by Matthias Schoenaerts.
The first film ended with a reveal of Andy’s long-lost lover, Quỳnh, being rescued after spending centuries in an underwater coffin. An immortal herself, she’d been doomed to experience the sensation of drowning for eternity. It’s too terrifying to comprehend, but neither the first film nor the sequel shies away from addressing Quỳnh’s torture. Andy is deeply ashamed about abandoning her, and she tells her as much when they finally reunite. It’s a meeting that would’ve had more impact had you remembered the slightest detail about the first film. But The Old Guard 2 doesn’t bother filling the audience in; there’s no text at the beginning to catch us up, nor does any character explain what’s going on. Perhaps it would’ve been a good idea to inject some exposition into the thing while it was sitting on a hard drive?
We’re simply thrown in the middle of the action, and expected to catch up. Usually, it’s a good thing when a movie doesn’t spoon-feed its audience. But in the case of The Old Guard 2, the plot is so plain that you almost wish that someone would show up to recite a poem about what’s going on. Andy and her protege, the young Nile, are now working together with the team of immortals to… save the world? It’s unclear from whom, though. At least until a formidable villain played by Uma Thurman shows up. She calls herself Discord, and it is revealed that she is the OG immortal. Discord is threatened by Andy for some reason, and she enlists Nile to help her in her cause. But Andy is too busy trying to revolve her personal issues with Quỳnh to do anything about her.
By the looks of it, there is no way that Thurman spent more than 10 days on set. For much of the film’s first half, she’s being quietly menacing in the corner of the frame; the second half, on the other hand, is primarily dedicated to a major action showdown between her and Andy, which likely didn’t even require Thurman to be present. She does, however, instantly improve the quality of the film every time she pops up. Her skills are never more obvious than in the scene where she tries to lure Nile by suggesting that they’re somehow connected. Theron might be phoning it in, but KiKi Lane is practically catatonic as the already boring protege.
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Charlize Theron and Uma Thurman in The Old Guard 2.
She was meant to be our surrogate in this world, but while this framing device worked the first time around, The Old Guard 2 doesn’t know what to do with the character now that she has consented to giving her life away to the immortals’ cause. Written by Greg Rucka, who also co-created the comic book series upon which these movies are based, The Old Guard 2 is directed by Victoria Mahoney; Gina Prince-Bythewood directed the heck out of the first film, which had a couple of memorable action sequences to balance out its slightly sketchy storytelling.
The action in The Old Guard 2 is far more choppy. One scene, in which Andy and Quỳnh throw down in a narrow alleyway, is particularly uninspired. It doesn’t matter that they shot it inside a studio, but Mahoney does nothing with the environment. The fight begins, unfolds, and ends inside a 10-foot radius. How boring. But this is only table-setting for the climax, which is shot entirely against a green screen, probably with stunt doubles. And, as if that weren’t enough, The Old Guard 2 has the nerve to end on a cliffhanger. If the first film represented the promise of early-stage streaming, the sequel has all the markings of a contemporary Netflix project — it’s algorithmic, uninspired, and utterly unnecessary.
The Old Guard 2
Director – Victoria Mahoney
Cast – Charlize Theron, KiKi Layne, Matthias Shoenaerts, Uma Thurman, Henry Golding, Marwan Kenzari, Luca Marinelli, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Rating – 2/5
